Thursday, August 26, 2010


Yesterday Zachary came in the door after school and burst into tears. He said that he saw me pick up his sister from Kindergarten and drive past his school. He just happened to be walking to the bathroom at the same time and apparently he waved to us and we didn't see him. Forget about the fact that I was driving and therefore focused on the road in front of me, my heart twisted with mother-guilt. Seriously kid, I was driving! How was I supposed to know that you'd be out of your classroom at 10:52 in the morning? Nonetheless, I am a loser.

Early this morning, Zachary's teacher left a message on my cell phone letting me know that around 11am yesterday Zachary seemed sad and was maybe feeling a bit homesick. She gave him a cracker and a hug. (OK, it's official: I LOVE her!) Once again, felt the pang of mother-guilt reminding me of how I failed my sweet boy.

I decided that I needed to rectify the situation and alleviate my guilt. So, today I picked Emilie up from Kindergarten at 11:30 which is the exact time that Zachary lines up outside his classroom to walk to the cafeteria for lunch. I told Emilie (or "Emme" as she is now known at school) that we were going to say hi to her brother. She said sweetly, "No, I don't want to.....let's go out to lunch again." (Sarcasm intended.)

As we rounded the corner to the hallway where Zachary's classroom is located, I spotted him immediately. And he spotted us. His eyes lit up and he said, "Hi Mommy! Are you here to take me out to lunch?" I was not. (Insert mother-guilt pang here.) But I said, "Sure I am. Where do you want to go?"

Oh, what a sweet hour we had. We ate our Happy Meals. Zachary and Emilie played in the germy, stinky play area. Zachary took off his socks and shoes. There was a TV on playing a cartoon that 'we don't watch in our house.' I seriously could cry right now thinking back to the smile on his face. He looked more than happy....he looked rejuvenated.

I didn't want to burst his bubble but I did have to inform him that this was a special treat and would not be happening all that often. But I secretly want it to happen maybe just a tad more than I let on.

I wish I could say that when Zachary came home from school today, all was right with the world. But I'll save that story for another day.


Allie said...

Ahhhh! Your such a great mom! Nothing like a little mommy guilt to make you go above and beyond for your kiddos. We all suffer from it.

Lillian said...

That made ME cry! You are a beautiful mom!

Cindy M said...

Such a special day! One that Zachary will always remember. You are a special mommy!
P.S. The mommy guilt never goes away, even when you're kids are all grown up.

Steph said...

DON'T LEAVE ME HANGING! I want to know the rest of the story! In any case, it reassures me as a mom that I will always fall victim to the mommy guilt and I only have a 15 month old daugher! :)